Better late than never! The Antipodes

AUSTRALIA

"How are ya?"

It's a casual question, especially when asked by an Australian. It's the kind of greeting which affords an answer, even welcomes further comment, and is a natural and comfortable start to many a conversation. I'm half tempted to recommend it to the UN as an international ice-breaker but no doubt replacing the Strine accent with American drawl would alter the entire effect. But alas, you can have too much of a good thing. When campers ask of your mood, you can at least imagine they might be interested. When checkout girls ask you how you're going, it casts aspersions on the sincerity of a whole nation. Shame, I would love to tell Courteney what a great time Phileas was having in Australia; of all the natural wonders and extraordinary experiences. Never mind. "Good thanks" - Phileas eventually learned what the correct answer was.

Australia is a very special place. Phileas will not dwell on culture - not because there is none but because it is the land and beasts which have defined this continent rather than the quality time with Scots, English and the odd Antipodean soul. Besides, how difficult would it be to describe a nation which is essentially still teething? Yes there are BBQs galore; yes this is a place for the outdoor enthusiasts; yes it's hot and dry but yes, you're as likely to hear Chinese or Vietnamese or Russian or Dutch or Greek or Italian or any other language in the cities as the English from the Union Flag.

Australia is a land that confuses Phileas. It is, without doubt, one of the most inhospitable places that Man chooses to benand contains the world's most deadliest creatures. And yet, paradoxically, it is the place from which Phileas derives the most comfort. Perhaps it is the relief that there is no malaria, perhaps it is the alluring whiff of a eucalypt, or perhaps it is some innate connection with a landscape which is somehow closer to Creation. Whatever it is that initiates the draw, it is with the Wild that Phileas has had a most captivating and fulfilling relationship.

Australia is still largely unexplored. It is easy to believe that having seen no-one for the last 200km, you are second only to the road-builder in seeing this place. Wow! There is something quite mind-blowing in having four horizons all to yourself and then imagining the exact same situation without the life-saving single strip of tarmac. The outback may be described as a barren, featureless and boring place, but to Phileas it remains one of the most fascinating places Man can be - probably because He has no logical reason to be there!

Wherever you are, however - Coast, Outback or Bush - the star of the Australian Show is undoubtedly the wildlife. The list of memorable, captivating and enchanting experiences is just about endless: a dawn chorus of wharbling magpies, roadside displays of sunbathing snakes and prancing emus, the laughing kookaburras, the gatherings of hundreds of exotic birds at sunset, the eerie howl of dingoes and the the investigations of a host of other nocturnl species. Yet none surpasses the occasional programme of starlit boxing kangaroos, in quiet bushland just yards from the tent. It is a treat which cannot be fully described. Indeed, it is a treat which is kept sacred fro the man of simple means. How unfortunate are those that insist on riches, barricaded in luxury accommodation, procluding themselves from the most precious and inexpensive of gifts.


NEW ZEALAND

It's the perfect Sunday afternoon drive.

(I may well write more for the book :-) but for now, that's enough words to create a good image!)