Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Roach Rampage Ruins Rest!
If anybody asked, I could only give 9 reasons why Australia was not a brilliant place to live.
It was 2am when the first one came along. Cockroach #1 chased and hunted down with Baygon Fast Knockdown Insect Spray. The better half of Phileas was asleep but this wasn't to last as Cockroach #2 announced its presence in the small confines of the spare bedroom. As it filled its lungs with a stormful of pesticide, it must've regretted that small eye catching movement it had made just before the beast of a human was about to leave it to itself.
The job was done; but the white wall revealed it was incomplete. Cockroach #3 was similarly maltreated. As Cockroach #4 was discovered, the better half of Phileas was now in aid of the braver half of Phileas, who was in sole combat with an infestation. They may withstand a nuclear holocaust, but Cockroaches were not going to outlive an execution. Teamwork ensured a steady stream of containers which, when snapped in place over the invaders, formed the perfect gas chamber. Not really wishing to compare himself to Nazi Dr Mengele, Phileas did take some strange, twisted, unhealthy, unnatural pleasure in administering a fatal dose of Zyclon B-type vapour and observing the reaction in these most ancient of creatures.
After collecting #s 8 and 9, Phileas did briefly lose the Rudolf Hoess persona and adopt a more inquisitive David Attenborough. Why? Catching a pair in a more... private and intimate moment, it was hard to resist taking a closer look at the animal kingdom! But in the end, the murderous instincts which Phileas normally does so well to suppress (don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry) came out and the pair, together with their soon-to-incubate offspring were goners.
Morning came. After inspeckting a couple of twitchers, another two which had received an unexpected extension due to an empty aerosol were dead. Killing cockroaches with a thong may raise images of horror in the UK, but I assure you it is standard practice in Australia!
It was 2am when the first one came along. Cockroach #1 chased and hunted down with Baygon Fast Knockdown Insect Spray. The better half of Phileas was asleep but this wasn't to last as Cockroach #2 announced its presence in the small confines of the spare bedroom. As it filled its lungs with a stormful of pesticide, it must've regretted that small eye catching movement it had made just before the beast of a human was about to leave it to itself.
The job was done; but the white wall revealed it was incomplete. Cockroach #3 was similarly maltreated. As Cockroach #4 was discovered, the better half of Phileas was now in aid of the braver half of Phileas, who was in sole combat with an infestation. They may withstand a nuclear holocaust, but Cockroaches were not going to outlive an execution. Teamwork ensured a steady stream of containers which, when snapped in place over the invaders, formed the perfect gas chamber. Not really wishing to compare himself to Nazi Dr Mengele, Phileas did take some strange, twisted, unhealthy, unnatural pleasure in administering a fatal dose of Zyclon B-type vapour and observing the reaction in these most ancient of creatures.
After collecting #s 8 and 9, Phileas did briefly lose the Rudolf Hoess persona and adopt a more inquisitive David Attenborough. Why? Catching a pair in a more... private and intimate moment, it was hard to resist taking a closer look at the animal kingdom! But in the end, the murderous instincts which Phileas normally does so well to suppress (don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry) came out and the pair, together with their soon-to-incubate offspring were goners.
Morning came. After inspeckting a couple of twitchers, another two which had received an unexpected extension due to an empty aerosol were dead. Killing cockroaches with a thong may raise images of horror in the UK, but I assure you it is standard practice in Australia!
Sunday, 6 January 2008
The Southern Expedition
The transportation - Jerry, I now know it's browny/burgundy AND it's a Toyota Camry!
1. Coastline near Bunbury.
2. You'll have to wait to see the video footage to see the view from the top of the Gloucester Tree!
3. Shrimps, Yabbys, Prawns... Phileas doesn't know the difference. But the information board said this is a Marron and I believe it. Australia is seriously teeming with wildlife!
4. Two things you can never get tired of seeing; kangaroos and an Australian sunset. Put the two together and may all your other dreams come true.
5. Valley of the Giants. A 600m walk along suspended walkways which take you up among the rare and magnificent Tingle trees.
6. Phileas has definitely developed a new appreciation for trees. Don't be surprised if you see him hugging one from time to time.
7. You may be alarmed but she's insured. The Gap, Albany. Together with The Natural Bridge, a 2 giga-byte roll of film would never be enough.
8. Better than any 5-Star hotel in the world. (Apart from the occasions at dawn when the whole avian kingdom seemingly comes to screech, laugh and chatter outside your tent flaps!)
9. The Lord is mighty. I know my place.
A Happy New Year
Staying in Pemberton, Phileas had never spent a New Year's holding a baby before, and this wasn't going to be the first!
So, Connor was passed on to the local Bobby - not so hard since we were staying at his place. Incidentally, this was directly opposite the police station, which had been cunningly disguised as a house. Pemberton - a town where people are nice, doors are left open and there's no crime? Yeah, whatever. And I s'pose that gun's just for shooting road almost-kill... oh.
Just after 9pm, the first round of fireworks were dispatched. Fortunately, the volunteer firemen had plans for New Year's Day and had suitably dowsed the bush beforehand.
Out with the old, and in with the new? Don't be daft, this one'll do!
A good night, Irene.
So, New Year's Day with all the Loudens that weren't on duty.
And then on to Windy Harbour to meet some lovely people and play headline games well into the power generator night. How funny can "Romantic Lover" and "Judge(!) Cruel" be? Unfortunately, only 5 people will ever truly know.
That's the thing with the Southern Ocean - so much surf yet so few bars on the temperature gauge!
4 Years
4 years of marriage for Phileas and it feels like 4 months, 6 days and a few hours... Who says romance dies? All you have to do is give a little of what the other really appreciates...
Free accommodation at the Rankins'
Chocolate and a cup of tea
A Chinese takeaway.
Perfect. (Apologies to Hilda: the meal out will have to wait - we stayed in Collie, not the kind of place that's open all hours; probably for security reasons)
Free accommodation at the Rankins'
Chocolate and a cup of tea
A Chinese takeaway.
Perfect. (Apologies to Hilda: the meal out will have to wait - we stayed in Collie, not the kind of place that's open all hours; probably for security reasons)
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