Japan

Someone once told Phileas that Japan was in Asia. He believed it. Phileas now knows that to be false. Apart from the obvious racial similarities, which need not be explained, Phileas sees very little likeness with the other countries that were said to be of the same continent. Mind you, they do all speak unfathomable languages, leaving Phileas an incompetent fool who cannot read a single word.

Japan is a country where visiting may destroy certain perceptions, myths and fantasies. Far from shoguns, samurai, habitual aggression and ritual suicide, Japan is an oasis of calm and refreshment. A certain guidebook, scrambling for something to say on the subject, lists losing patience on the rush-hour subway and street announcements under `Dangers and Annoyances`! (Phileas finds pedestrian crossing ringtones actually quite amusing!) This, opposed to the normal scams, pickpockets and muggings of Asia, speaks volumes. A hundred percent hassle free, even Japan`s insects have abided by the code and left Phileas without a single bite. Somehow, even the traffic seems to keep to a respectful noise limit. Modern, organised and extremely pleasant - I`m not saying Japan is better, but it is if you like that sort of thing.

Japan`s a great place to be in Autumn. Bright red maple leaves everywhere and a host of other seasonal colours.

There is a phrase, "oitsuke, oikose" (catch up, overtake). Indeed, they may well have done. In many ways, it is the type of place the UK could be if it consolidated and exubed a common identity and people were more intent on keeping the place clean.

So what is it that makes Japan so special? In Phileas` eyes, it is the way traditional culture, disciplined modernity and impressive natural surroundings knit together - all well balanced and in harmony. Respect for the thousands of temples and shrines permeates the nation, taxi drivers clad in dark suits and donning white gloves wait patiently for business, young people with surprisingly funky hairstyles walk happily together and forest swathed mountains flow the length of the country.

Fascinating as it is, Japanese culture is as inpenetrable to a visitor, nay any non-Sino native, as the exclusive tea house which lines many an aged street. It is only the Japanese themselves who find normality where Phileas and others find amusement, bewilderment and general naivety. How a nation, bowing to visitors as though Royalty, can see weeing on the street as acceptable (as long as they are drunk) is bizarre. Eating on the street is disgraceful but vending machines line every road. Businessmen think nothing of introducing the latest technology to toilet systems (yes, you can press a button which gives a fake flush!) and then sit on the Metro and read the latest comic. That is before their communal bath, of course.

Japan is not a place where you could leave your soul - because your soul knows it will never belong there. Nor can Japan truly be described but you`re sure to recognise it when you see it. All you can do, as Phileas has done, is to view, interact, enjoy, appreciate and hope there`ll be another time.